Goose bumps

This has been a hard week for me as far as working out goes. I ran last Monday and then not again until just yesterday, which was Monday. My motivation was very low and with my lovely monthly visitor due any day now I have felt bloated and just overall gross this past week. On Thursday I went over to visit with Heather and the girls and she is truly one amazing women! Not only does she chase after a 19 month old but she also has a 3 month with colic, and yet when I show up she has even more love and support for me! Her and I have been through our weight watchers journey together for a long time and now having her support and the occasional kick in the pants from her is exactly what I need.

I always thought my journey through WW would be about me, and me taking control of my life however the more I open up to those around me the more I am finding that it is everyone around me that makes is that much more enjoyable. Even simply telling my friend Kelsey that my weigh is day is Tuesday brought a new sense of comfort to our usual Monday night TV and pizza date. I no longer felt like I had to hide my hesitant about eating  half a a pizza while she ate the other half. Last night after working out, she picked me up from the club house with pizza in the back seat. But this time I had a plan, after a good work out you never really want to eat as it is, so that was step one. Step two was to take 2 of my 4 slices away before even eat any and put them in the fridge for later in the week so I wouldn't even be tempted. It was a great plan, and as it turns out I couldn't even finish the second piece before realizing that I really wasn't all that hungry any more and put it in the fridge with the other two slices for later this week.

My goal through has always been to not step on the scale unless it was my day to weigh-in and record  the weight, however if you know me then you will know I have a small obsession with the scale. It brings me joy or sadness but always a reality check. Some weeks I am better than others, holding off until Tuesday morning to step on the scale and see the numbers and other weeks I am on that thing daily to every other day. This past week being a harder week for me I admit I was on it a fair amount of days and with that comes the sad news that by mid week I had gained 4 pounds...YIKES! I was crushed, after all the point is to drop pounds not put them back on. So when I stepped on the scale this morning my hopes weren't high, let's be honest. But when I took those steps and held my breath waiting, it was a pleasant surprise to see that I had actually lost half a pound from my last official weigh-in, meaning I actually lost 4.5....which sounds good but is not really that monuments when you hear that I gained 4 of those during the week.

The reason I am telling you all this is because this is one of my biggest and baddest habits and I think that if I get it out there I can be held more accountable and maybe stop this horrible cycle. See I work hard one week and drop a few pounds then I let myself slide the first few days and put all those hard earned pounds back on, then the second half of the week is spent trying to loose last weeks weight and extra for this week. So it would come as no surprise then that when I have a good week the next 2 weeks at least are spent putting it back on then trying to play catch up. I want to break this habit, I want to loose weight and keep it off so my efforts continue to increase and not seem to equal each other out every other week!

When I was working at Starbucks one of the hardest things for me to remember to do, or want to do was tuck my shirt in. I hated it, and my manager was always there to remind me to tuck it in when it wasn't...which was very often! So to fix this I put up signs all over my room telling me to tuck in my shirt. Well it worked after a little while I always came to work with my shirt tucked in (either that or I wore a vest so I didn't have to). So with my WW journey I have taken on that same method and posted things all around my apartment to help me stay on track. I have written all over my bathroom mirror so I see it every morning and night. I have posted a list of 0 point values, filling foods and serving sizes inside my cupboard door. The biggest reminder is on my fridge though, loud and proud. It is a scale, with my weight loss and goals and as I lose I color in more of the scale so it is a constant visual reminder of how far I have come and how far I still have to go.

I have also set smaller very obtainable goals for along the way. However the only way I am going to reach these is by staying on plan and working out! I know that if I do those two I can drop up to 7 pounds a week, it's been done before and I know I can do it more! It's all about consistency and remembering that I want to be thin and happy more than I want to eat that piece of pie, or bag of chips, or bowl of pasta. It's wanting it more than food.

Like I said I went for a run last night, I wasn't going to what with not feeling 100% but then I decided to just do it and know that once it was over I would be happy with myself that I did. I am running the second week of the "Running for Beginners" plan right now and this was actually only the second time. With a 5 minute walk, 10 minute jog, 5 minute walk, 5 minute run, 10 minute jog, 5 minute walk....it was during the 5 minute run part that my music was going and I was in the zone and hit a sweet stride that this wave of goosebumps came over me. This sense of empowerment in my own life and this new found ability to run, to set the treadmill to a 5 and actually run for 5 minutes without stopping. Of course I wanted to pass out or puke after that 5 minute run but those goosebumps stuck with me. It was something I have never felt before and I am going to try with all my might to hold onto it.